Negotiating relationships

When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter how many books we read or articles we write or prayers we say, it is the day to day living of our lives that really matters; the relationships into which we enter or from which we fall; whether we have good will towards our neighbours of if we turn our backs.

I came across a lovely article this week that is set in Sydney but was published in the May 2006 edition of A Little Yeast, the Yarra Theological Union email newsletter.  It is too long to reproduce in full here but I would like to tell you the story ...

The writer was telling about his grandmother, who on marrying in 1915 moved into the house in which this account is set.  Her life-long best friend moved in next door on the same day.  He described “Nanna” as “the sweetest of grandmothers.  She always gave us scones with jam and cream” but there was “iron in her from poverty and depression and war and widowhood”.

When the life-long friend died, the house was bought by foreigners – Turks.

“She was indignant. Her sweetness and indulgence evaporated in a litany of complaints of bitterness we did not expect to hear from her, mingled, I realise now, with grief and loss.  There were too many of them.  They wore too many clothes.  They were not even Christians.  They didn’t speak English.  Smells came from their kitchen.  They could go back to where they came from… But there was worse to come …”

On the occasion of a family barbecue, the family bought a live lamb to the house and slaughtered it in the street.  Along with the flies came the police, council inspectors and “other anti-lamb-slaughtering officials”.  The whole street was up in arms.  Hostilities deepened.

When the grandmother was almost 80, she took in a boarder who stayed a couple of years and then she was on her own again.

“One day, suddenly, a whole contingent of Turkish womenfolk appeared on the verandah.  A little girl translated for them.  She was too old to be living on her own, they declared. Every morning, she must hang a tea towel out the window and if it was not there by breakfast time they would come and check on her.  Nanna professed indignation and said she put the tea towel out only to keep them away.  Pots of food were now occasionally appearing on the verandah, exotic fragrant casseroles, I suppose, to be gingerly tasted before they were gratefully eaten… Soon we were being told, with sweet authority over the scones and jam, that you could have no better neighbours than Turkish people...”

The writer makes the point:  “I like it that my Nanna went from hostility to gratitude.  It is a little window into the history of the country but also into its future; the kind of story that has been played out countless times and that we cannot afford not to repeat.  I sometimes think about the little girl who stood on the verandah and translated, negotiating between two cultures.  She is probably a neurosurgeon or something now … It is no small thing to negotiate between two cultures, but many people have done it and still do …”

Relationships, whether they be within our families, in our workplaces, in our churches or between cultures, are the building blocks of peace.  They sometimes need a little help along the way, but always they begin in the heart of the individual.

As the Easter Season continues to build towards the great feast of Pentecost, may each of us be aware of the relationships within our own lives and just where our hearts might be in each one of them.

Joyous, life-enriching Easter blessings,

Penny Edman

Diary

MAY

14-21 Simply Sharing Week:  Simply hoping for health, the Solomon Island story, sponsored by Caritas Australia and the Christian World Service of National Council of Churches in Australia

15-21 Inaugural National Safe Schools Week

18 University of Melbourne International Public Lecture,Does Religion Cause Violence?  The struggle for peace, by US Catholic theologian, Dr William T. Cavanaugh, Carrillo Gantner Theatre, Sidney Myer Asia Centre, Uni. of M., Parkville; 6.30pm

Public lecture with Peter Henriot SJ, The Church’s Social Teaching: Is it Charity or is it Justice? Lecture Theatre at St Joseph’s College, Gregory Terrace; 7.30pm.  cost, donation. contact, Br Ted Magee (07) 3327 2203.

The Da Vinci Code movie opens in Australia

19 Give us this day our daily bread:  The witness of Oscar Romero and the Eucharist in our lives, buffet meal followed by conversation with Dr William Cavanaugh, Knox Centre Albert Street, East Melbourne.  Cost: $25.  (bookings: markoconnorfms@gmail.com)

19-21 Project Rachel healing retreat, Sydney (Julie, 02 9440 7980)

Brisbane Social Forum, on the theme, Freedom, University of Queensland Union Complex (information)

20 and 21 Introductory intensive Journal workshops by Kate Scholl (as written about in And the Dance Goes On) sponsored by the Eremos Institute.  Saturday 9.30-5pm, Sunday 9.30am-4pm, Parramatta.  Registrations 02 9876 5176.  

21 World Social Communications (mass media) Day

My Favourite Biblical Text, the Auditorium, The King David School, Magid Institute, Dandenong Road, Armadale; 3pm.  (information:  9817 3848)

21-26 Crisis, Catharsis and Contemplation contemporary art exhibition, St Mary’s Cathedral, Sydney. Free. 9am-5pm.

22 Public lecture, Filmic Fiction: Dan Brown’s favour to Christianity, Dr Richard Leonard sj, The Oratory, Newman College, Swanston Street, Parkville (further information: 9342 1614)

24 Cindy Sheehan and Dr Salam Ismael speak on the US occupation of Iraq, Yeronga State High School, Yeronga; 7pm

25 Rose Marie Prosser, What does it mean to be a spiritual Catholic? YTU-at-Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish   (information: OLGC Parish 9816 9291)

25 (7.30pm) – 28 (5pm)   Cursillo weekend for women, Greenhills, Canberra.  Spiritual director, Fr Michael Fallon, msc.  (Margie Doyle, 02 6288 0309)

26 National Sorry Day

Link-up Queensland, Family Fun Day, Roma Street Parklands; 9am-3pm

Brisbane Sorry Day ceremony, King George Square, Brisbane; 5pm

Public lecture, Religion: Does it unite or divide? presented by Pro. Edmund Chia (religious diversity: the Asian experience) and Pro. Des Cahill (the Australian experience), Mercy Lecture Theatre, ACU (115 Vicotria Parade) Melbourne; donation appreciated; 6-7.30pm  (in association with Sydney’s New Pentecost Forum 2006)

28 A reflection day for women at Kerever Park Spirituality Centre, Burradoo. Cost $20/$15.  9.30am-4pm.  (information: Anne Bennell 4861 2075)

28 and 29 The Centre for Progressive Religious Thought, Canberra, presents Australian Theologian Dr Val Webb, In defence of doubt and Catching water in a net:  Imagining the divine, St James Church Centre, Gillies Street, Curtain; 7.45pm Monday and 10am Tuesday.  Entry costs apply.

28-June 4 Week of Prayer for Reconciliation and Christian Unity – Australia:  Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them (Mt 18:20)

29 Holocaust Memorial Service, with guest speaker, Floris Kalman, a child survivor, College Hall, Catholic Ladies College, 19 Diamond Street, Eltham; 7.30pm

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